It’s your typical scorching Tuesday night in the middle of a Texas summer. After a long day of work, followed by the extended edition of our kid’s bedtime routines, it’s time to decompress. All I want to do at the end of the day is unwind with some TV and relax. So we put on whatever show we’re streaming at that moment (most recently Ted Lasso ❤️) and settle in.
As I’m enjoying this quality content that I chose to spend my precious time on (and Ted Lasso is 100% deserving of my attention), I pick up my phone and start scrolling: Twitter or ESPN or Tiktok or Slack, whatever it might be. I’m very clearly not paying attention to what I’m supposedly watching. I’m also not really paying attention to what I’m doom scrolling on my iPhone.
So what exactly am I doing?
Does this sound familiar? This isn’t something novel that I’m just now realizing. I’m not oblivious to how much I engage with all the screens in my life. I know it. I realize it. But at that moment, it really hit home. Why am I watching a tiny screen, while sitting in front of a gigantic screen? More importantly, why am I not truly paying attention to either?
If you know me, you know I love stories and that’s why I love tv shows, movies, novels, video games, and the like. But sitting here, not giving my full attention to this mustachioed main character is doing a disservice to the entire idea.
And the culprit, more often than not, is this incredibly powerful piece of technology that is far too accessible in every moment of our day-to-day lives.
The Villain
I’m on my phone too much. I fully admit this. It’s the first thing I look at when I wake up and the last thing I check before I go to bed. It’s there when I’m working and when I’m relaxing. It’s there when I’m eating and when I’m shitting. It’s like Roy Kent – it’s here, it’s there, it’s EVERY-FUCKING-WHERE.
The phone thing is very much an addiction and all the content (largely in the form of social media) is the drug. It’s that rush of dopamine that’s on a constant drip, hooked right into our brains. It’s a formula that companies have mastered to build habits and form addictions.
And it is never-ending. There’s always something going on, especially on social media where we are the product that demands our attention. We make these platforms go, which means they’re always on. It’s not like social media has episodes or seasons, where an end is in sight.
On top of the 24/7 content cycle, they keep launching new platforms to spend time on because there’s clearly a shortage of places to engage with others online. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Imgur, Reddit, and Tiktok don’t quite scratch the itch. Why not add one more for good measure – hello Threads.
While binge-watching TV is a valid concern on its own (one I’ll likely address in a future post), I feel we should at least give the content we’re consuming some respect and put down the damn phone.
Enter Mindfulness
It’s crazy to say, but maybe we need to practice mindfulness with our media today. When I first encountered the idea of mindfulness, decades ago, it was in the same realm as meditation or working out, or being present when eating. That kind of thing. Now I think I need to practice mindfulness just to watch TV or movies.
One thing I can’t knock about going to the movie theater is that you actually disconnect from your phone and watch the damn movie – whether it’s good or bad. It’s a nice feeling to actually be forced to put your phone on silent and focus on what’s in front of you. It’s also depressing that we need that push.
So my goal is to be more mindful about media consumption and to that end, I’ve defined two rules to help me achieve that. First and foremost, I realized that I don’t enjoy content when my attention is scattered. When I’m watching a show and scrolling, nothing is truly memorable or enjoyable, it just is. To change that, I’ve decided that when I consume content, it’s going to only be one type of content at a time (i.e. no more scrolling while watching TV or working).
RULE #1: Only consume one form of content at a time.
Two, I’m going to limit my media intake. I consume a lot of media and maybe it’s not a lot compared to the average, but it’s more than needed I’m sure. I realize it isn’t really serving me in any meaningful way. I’m not getting any value from checking ESPN 20 times a day or mindlessly scrolling Tiktok or Instagram. It’s a way to pass the time, but there are better ways.
I’m only going to check my social media and sports sites and the like in the mornings. A lot like what I imagine reading the newspaper in the morning was like. This will be the time of day to catch up on all the things and scratch that itch.
RULE #2: Only consume content at a scheduled time (ie in the morning).
This also serves a second purpose of eliminating distractions when I’m meant to be doing something else, like writing or designing or just thinking. I can’t tell you how many times a day I’m in the middle of a work task and just hop over to Linkedin or The Athletic for no reason and break my flow. There’s a great Chrome Extension for web browsing called Limit that I’m using to add time caps to these content sites as well (because I don’t trust myself to go cold turkey).
There’s nothing wrong with consuming content and using your phone and scrolling social media in and of itself. But it can be harmful when it’s done without intention or purpose. In those situations, you’re not really there, you’re not really present. It’s more passive than active and when that’s the headspace, what’s the point?
There are better ways to spend your time.