One of my friends has a perfect analogy when it comes to the balance between work and life. She calls it setting the table. Far too often, we spend all of our time setting the table for some epic meal. We get the perfect placemats, beautiful china, and exquisite flatware. We design an extravagant menu filled with our favorite foods, all paired with the perfect wine. We constantly tweak and improve and strive for this immaculate meal. We are setting the table endlessly. And so it goes.

What she means by setting the table in reality, is that we’re always chasing the next thing. We’re always working. Delaying our gratification, our moments to rest, and our time to recharge. We constantly work to further our careers and improve our quality of life. And when we reach a milestone or goal, we set our eyes on what’s next rather than enjoying the moment for what it is. We never take a bite. We may be creating the perfect meal, but we never let ourselves enjoy it.

This is to say, we keep chasing bigger and better. We stay on the hamster wheel. We move the goalposts constantly, but when do we finally get to eat?

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There’s a quote in one of the last known journals of Leonardo Da Vinci that essentially translates to:

… the soup is getting cold…

Leonardo Da Vinci, from Walter Isaacson’s Leonardo Da Vinci

We’re all suspect to this idea of constantly setting the table. And sure, part of it is related to the work ethic that results in geniuses like Da Vinci. But even he recognized these moments and found ways to recharge through his many endeavors. There needs to be balance.

At some point, we need to have a meal. This is to say, we need to take a break. We need to recharge and enjoy life. The point shouldn’t be to work constantly and enjoy life when you’re dead (or close enough, aka retirement). It should be to take moments to enjoy the life you’re building AS YOU BUILD IT. Find moments to get away and appreciate where you are, where you’ve been, and where you’re going.

Have the meal before it’s perfect. It’s going to get better next time, but at least you’ll get some much-needed nourishment now. One of my favorite TED Talks is by Stefan Sagemeister where he shares how he takes a sabbatical every 7 years. He gives himself 1 entire year to enjoy the table he’s been setting and the meal he’s been creating before getting back to the grind.

This is a powerful idea that all of us should embrace. It doesn’t need to be an entire year off, but we need these moments to recover, recharge, and reminisce about where we are in life and where we’re going next.

I’ve been on the brink of spectacularly flaming out two times in my career. In both situations, I was in an endless loop of setting the table, thoroughly unsatisfied with my work and burnt out. And in both situations I took a sabbatical of sorts, giving myself time to reset and reflect. And I can say that after each time, my career has taken an exponential leap forward because I enjoyed the meals I was creating. I stopped setting the table and ate. And as you can imagine, I was hungry.

This is easier said than done. When I was in these situations, I can’t claim to say that I completely shut down my monkey mind. It kept wandering back to work and productivity and doing. On some psychological level, I have been programmed to constantly spend my headspace on what’s next. It took real time and patience (and a spouse who was keeping me in check) to force myself to truly disconnect and enjoy these moments. To be still and present and content. Because it is in these moments that we find clarity and perspective.

So if you’re a person who’s constantly chasing the next thing. The person that never takes all their vacation days. The person that doesn’t embrace the moments to see where they’re going. Try to stop setting the table for a moment. Enjoy the meal you’ve created. Satisfy your hunger.

And then with a full belly, get back to work.

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