We are all trying to figure out who we are. It is one of life’s great questions, to understand what it all means to us. Where we tend to differ is how we approach answering this question.
There’s all sorts of advice out there in regards to this, but I find that it boils down to three different mindsets: being yourself, discovering yourself, or creating yourself. Let’s explore all three.
This is certainly the most passive approach. The thinking is that you are who you are and you must simply embrace it. It forgoes all ideas of change, growth, and action. In other words, it is a fixed mindset.
If you’ve already figured out who you are, then perhaps it is as easy as being yourself, but often we don’t even know that. Being yourself is the easy way out.
I like to call this particular mindset the passion approach. In this case, you follow this idealistic belief that there is a version of life where everything is perfect.
The problem is, such a utopia doesn’t exist. Work is never perfect, relationships aren’t perfect, and day to day there will be obstacles for you to overcome.
While there’s value in finding what you enjoy and what you hate, it will never be so black and white. You’ll never come to an ultimate realization that tells you who you are, no matter how hard you look. It’s a moving target.
Finally, there is the approach of creating yourself. Following your free will. Deciding what you want to do and making it your truth, every single day. This is the most powerful approach, but also the one that is most uncertain.
People change, circumstances change, passions change, and so you also change. You have to create your own life, despite everything else.
Most people don’t want to take this leap, the chance to fully put matters into their own hands. They make excuses and try to figure out who they are, rather than deciding who they are.
Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
At the end of the day we must all realize that life is short and that the ability to control it lies within us. Embrace the uncertainty and start creating yourself today.